So, What's The Story? (Part 2)

[To read Part 1 of my story.]

Moving is never easy.  Especially when you have to essentially start from scratch in a new part of the country.  With an old home to deal with and a new home to acquire, I set off to the new locale with A3 in tow.  I spent my days at work while A3 schooled, then at lunch and evenings I would review A3's work and assign the next lessons.  In the later evening, after A3 was in bed, I would have some private time with Mrs!.

Technology being what it is, we were able to actually see each other.  This led to some enjoyable times, including several occasions of naked video chat.  Once, maybe twice, I masturbated for her to the vision of her nude body.  We discussed her returning the favor, but it never happened.  She was not sure about it.  At my suggestions that she try it privately, alone first, she did.  Once.  But that never translated to a video pleasure for me.

A month turned out to be too long for everyone.  So Mrs! and the A#'s came to stay with A3 and I.  We closed on the new house and left to gather our packed belongings and relocate.  Upon return to the old homestead, there was still much to be done.  Mrs! and the A#'s were supposed to have things as ready to go as possible, but that just didn't pan out.  As frustrated as I was, it just wasn't worth fighting over, especially when I had to finish the packing, load the truck and drive it back across half the country.  Really, this was just a new modified version of the housework fight.

In the new locale, things were pretty much back to how they always were.  About a month into it, that's when things got really interesting.  We had it out in one of our routine biannual fights about the house, the responsibility, the sex.  For the first time, though, in a hurt place I made the comment that she had hurt me deeply over the past years and the scars were so deep it would take serious time and effort in order to even be able to talk about them, much less fix them.

The promises were there, and the make-up sex was great (isn't it always).  But something still wasn't sinking in.  Somehow she still wasn't getting it.  It wasn't long before things were back where they always were.  Our "normal" returned and with it, so did my subdued frustration and ennui.  Outwardly, everything was fine.  Mrs! felt loved and connected, so she expected that everything was fine.

At this point BFF and I had been back in contact for about a year.  We were friends in high school and fell out of touch when my family moved away.  High school with BFF is another story for another day, but we were never really a true couple.  BFF lived about 10 hours away from me, so we really had not chance to have lunch to catch up.  On facebook chat, though, we had been catching up on families and reminiscing over the past about once a month. 

BFF's husband was emotionally abusive.  At that time, I had multiple friends on facebook dealing with the fallout of abuse, so I had been very vocal about it.  BFF had asked some questions and that led to more conversation about abuse, divorce, and the like.  I'm no expert, but I knew that coming from out background it is hard to understand and accept that what normal society considers abuse is really abuse.  That means it is hard to believe, as an abused person, that you really have anything to talk to a professional about. 

I knew from my other friends that just having someone listen was instrumental in helping them move forward and, if they felt they needed it, gain the courage to talk to a professional.  So, I listened and shared thoughts and advice with BFF.  At one point I gave her my phone number in case she ever needed to talk.  It was months before we actually spoke on the phone, but on October 12th, not long after the move and the explosion fight, BFF called.

We talked for nearly two hours that day.  Both of us felt more to the connection than just a friendship.  We teased and joked about it in chat after.  Keeping up with a mistress was just what I needed with everything else going on in my life.  "I wouldn't be satisfied as just a mistress for long," BFF teased back.  It was fun.  It was exciting.  Someone was actually interested in me, more than just a friend.

We talked on the phone again for nearly two hours the next day.  At this point, it is probably fair to say an emotional affair was quickly beginning.  You are free to say and believe what you want, but we connected.  We connected more deeply than either of us ever had with our spouses.  Because BFF lived so far away, there was little chance of us seeing one another to consummate this affair.  We joked and wished and hoped, but we never got to be together.

We were regularly chatting and texting.  Serious talk, fun talk, erotic talk, we covered it all.  Neither of our spouses were any wiser about this affair of the heart.  BFF's marriage had been fucked up for years before I came back into her life.  She was more than ready to escape, but was financially stuck.  Mrs! was not really any different than she'd ever been.  That left both of us feeling unfulfilled.  We met each others emotional needs deeper than they had been met before, and we gave each other the feelings of love that had been absent in our marriages.

But I had a problem.  I'm a very results oriented guy.  As wonderful as my online/phone life with BFF was, as much as I wanted a future with her, I just couldn't see the path from where we were to the results I wanted.  I never did and never will claim that what we were doing was right, and, to be fair, I was experiencing a fair amount of guilt over our relationship, too.  Financially, I couldn't map out the transition or the future.  And the issue of how this would affect the A#'s was also weighing on my mind, especially with one preparing for a wedding and the other three getting ready to start public school for the first time ever.  In short, I didn't see how I could leave my marriage and be with BFF, at least not any time within the next 5-10 years.

With all of that weighing on me, after two months of experiencing a connection and completion that I never felt before, I called BFF and told her I couldn't continue doing this.  We talked, we cried, I felt much like the asshole that I was, but I cut off our budding relationship.  I returned my focus to my marriage.  Determined to make the best of what I had, I focused my efforts on making my marriage work for me.

I had cut off contact with BFF except for an occasional comment or "like" on facebook.  That lasted until the spring when we started talking again.  Not the same frequency as before, and surely not the same topics, but we talked.  About this time BFF left her husband.  This didn't last long, though and through the course of events she was forced to return.  (The story is a good one, but it is hers.  Maybe she will let me tell it one day.)  Her return to a jealous, emotionally abuse, controlling husband, though, meant our contact was even more limited and required more discretion.

Things continued like this until September.  In mid-September, Mrs! and I had our routine explosion again.  Our cycle had come around again and we had it out.  Little did I know where this would lead us, and little did I know how deep I would fall...

Until next time,
~ Anon ~

So, What's The Story? (Part 3)