(Anon Note: Second post today, but I want to get the preliminaries out of the way so I can get down to some real posts.)
My story is so deep and long that I don't ever expect to be able to tell it all. Hell, I don't even understand everything, so I'm probably leaving out some desperately important pieces of the puzzle for the simple fact that I don't know that they are important. In any case, there are several people who play important roles in the story. I should introduce you to them.
Mrs! - Meet my wife. You can call her Mrs. Anonymous, or Mrs! for short. A few years younger than me, she was raised in a similar sheltered, religious family. Mrs! has a harder time letting go of some parts of that background than I have. She doesn't think that much of me. I mean, she knows I "have a deep and giving heart", but she also believes that I am "gullible". Maybe she's right, maybe I am. She also doesn't trust my decisions or opinions much, unless she agrees with them. Changes in parenting evidence this, even if she doesn't speak dissent. In fact, she doesn't speak much. We're supposed to be talking and working through issues, but that just doesn't happen all too often now that things are "back to normal".
A1 - Meet my eldest child. She's moved away and is married now. This was a huge deal in our relationship, marriage, and life. Sort of resolved, but not completely. I love A1 and her SO very much. I wasn't always a great parent, but in the course of events, A1 accused me of poor parenting that just weren't true. Nothing perverted, she just claimed to soon-to-be-SO that I was a "control freak" and soon-to-be-SO repeated this to me during a pre-marital confrontation. I don't think I am. Neither do several others who know me (including Mrs!), but I guess perception is reality.
A2 - And my second child. He is legally "of age", but still lives with us. He was the recipient of some very poor parenting, but seems to have turned out somewhat decent in spite of my atrocities. He is a favorite of Mrs! I know this, as does my best friend. She denies it. I dare not ask any of the A#'s in case they haven't considered it before. No need to sour their milk. In any case, I'm very proud of A2, but I get the distinct impression that he doesn't approve of me or my revised parenting.
A3 - The third child is the one that, as they say, I now understand why some animals eat their young. We can fairly say that the jury is out on the alternative parenting styles. I can get along with A3 better than any of the other A#'s, but sometimes even the sound of his voice makes me want to die. He can be the sweetest, most helpful, understanding child at times. Then other times he makes me want to find a very large stick to beat him with. (I don't, of course.) Suffice it to say, the transition from concrete to abstract thinker is not a convenient time to shift from rigid to open parenting. Better late than never.
A4 - The last of the bunch, A4 is still coming into her own. She is funny and "blond" and sweet and loving. But she is also snotty and annoying and rude and full of attitude. She's had it a bit better than A3 with the change in parenting as she was younger when it started. She's learning and growing and, like A3, I expect she will be fine, but only time will tell.
BFM - And this is Best Friend Male. He's a great friend, but honestly, I'm there for him more than he is for me. See BFM suffered from a really messy divorce from a true bitch. Granted he made a mistake and I don't fault her for leaving (really he's better without her), but she raked him over the coals with the settlement. So, I end up trying to encourage him to move on while he mopes and moans about wanting his family back. (She also managed to prevent him from having any visitation.)
BFF - And last, but definitely not least, Best Friend Female. BFF makes me smile, especially on the days we get to talk. I miss BFF on the days we don't speak. This blog is about the "Stuff I Can't Tell", but I can always tell BFF. She will listen, even to the parts she doesn't want to hear. If I need to say it, she will listen and, if I want, talk about it. In fact, BFF is the only person that will ever know the real me and know that this blog exists.
Until next time,
~ Anon ~
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