So, Who The Hell Am I?

So, introductions are in order.  I'm Anonymous and I want to stay that way.  That means I will not be giving tons of information to identify myself.  The nature of this blog and the purpose of this blog make such revelations impossible.

You will just have to take it on faith that I am a real person.  Unfortunately, there are some bits of information that are necessary in order to communicate effectively here.  So, without giving away too much, I hope, here's more about me.


I'm married with kids.  I have a decent job that I enjoy, for the most part.  I've got a mortgage, bills, etc.  All the stuff that makes for a normal life.  In many ways, especially from the outside, my life looks to be that of a normal person.

I grew up sheltered in a very religious home.  The emphasis on doing "right" was strong, even if the definition of "right" varied somewhat depending on which church or preacher we were hearing.  When the emphasis is on doing "right", it creates a strong desire in a young mind to be seen and perceived as doing "right".  And I did that well.  Of course, on the inside and in private I was quite the hypocrite.  More about that another time.

I married young and started the whole family thing.  At that time we were both still heavily influenced by our sheltered, religious upbringing.  I tried to do it "right"; I tried to be the spouse and parent that I was supposed to be.  But I screwed up lots.  Still dealing with that, so I'm sure I'll have plenty to say about it later. 

Years passed and now I'm over 40 with much the same life.  I'm still married and have kids at home, although one has left the nest.  And me, I'm still the same as I ever was.  Kathy Troccoli released a song in the 90's titled "Everything Changes".

Everything changes,
Nothing looks the same through the eyes of love;
Everything changes,
When you love some, love some, love someone

Well, I have to disagree.  Love or not, people generally never change.  So, here I am, 40+ years later and I'm still the hypocrite.  I think most people consider a hypocrite to be someone who acts better than everyone else, but is really just as bad (or worse).  I'm not that kind of hypocrite.  At least, I don't try to pretend I'm better than anyone else... not anymore.  Age has allowed me to see more clearly and I know I'm no better than anyone else, and much worse than many.

I'm just the hypocrite who puts on a false front.  I put on a false front and keep a lot of shit inside.  But not anymore.  Well, sort of not anymore.  I now have an anonymous blog to post about all that shit inside.  So I don't have to keep it in anymore, but I also am not removing that false front.  For now, it is better this way.  Some of the shit that goes on in my head would hurt too many people if it came out.  We'll just keep it here for now.

Until next time,
~ Anon ~